Humble Crab

A humble crab fell in love with a beautiful lobster princess, but her father, the king, forbade the relationship on the grounds that the crab was of lowly stock. The unsuitable suitor was a crushed crustacean.

“Why does your father disapprove of me so?” he wailed.

The princess replied tearfully: “Daddy says you’re not a well-dressed crab, but in truth, he doesn’t care much for crabs anyway. He says they’re common and, above all, they have that silly sideways walk. I’m so sorry, my darling, but it appears that we can never be together.”

The crab was determined to prove the king wrong and win the claw of his fair daughter. The perfect opportunity to prove his worth was the forthcoming Grand Lobster Ball, an occasion that attracted lobsters from far and wide to feast, drink and dance. While the king sat on his throne, the lobster princess sat sombrely at his side, her heart longing for her absent lover.

Suddenly the huge double wooden doors flew open and in walked the crab. The music stopped and all eyes focused on him as he painstakingly made his way up the red carpet towards the throne, walking dead straight, one claw after another. Nobody had ever seen a crab walk straight before. Even the king was impressed.

Finally after fifteen minutes of straight walking, the crab reached the throne. There, he stopped, looked up at the king and said: “God, I’m drunk!”