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    The Art Of Mind

    A husband returned home after spending eight months on a solo posting with the US Army in Alaska. He told his wife: “Honey, I want you to know that I haven’t wasted my time while I’ve been away. I’ve mastered the art of mind over matter. Watch this!” He then dropped his pants and shorts […] More

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    Big Ears

    A country guy in a bar was becoming irritated by a flash city type with a vacuous blonde on his arm. Both had loud, braying voices and a seemingly endless supply of cash. Eventually the country guy went up to him and said: “You know, you’ve got yourself a real trophy girlfriend there.” “Why do […] More

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    Anti-Depressants

    A few days before his son was due to leave for his first semester at university, a father sat him down for a quiet chat. “Son,” he said, “in college you’re going to be surrounded by beautiful girls, so I got you something from the chemist.” “Dad, you didn’t need to. I’ve already got condoms.” […] More

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    The Bus Travelled

    A man from Ireland was on a bus tour of the United States. As the bus travelled for miles and miles through desert landscape and oil fields, he asked the guide: “Where are we now?” The guide said proudly: “We’re in the great state of Texas.” “It’s certainly big,” mused the Irishman. “It’s so big,” […] More

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    Garden Hose

    An elderly snake went to the doctor and told him: “Doc, my eyesight is so bad, I can’t see to hunt any more. I think I need a pair of glasses.” So the doctor fixed the snake up with a pair of glasses and told him to come back if he still couldn’t manage. Two […] More

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    Texan Visitor

    A Texan visitor to England asked an Englishman to show him the biggest building in town. “There it is,” said the Englishman. “It’s quite impressive, I must admit.” “You call that big?” scoffed the Texan. “Back in Texas we have buildings just like that but over a hundred times bigger!” “I’m not surprised,” said the […] More

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    100 Per Cent Polar Bear

    One afternoon in the Arctic, a father polar bear and his polar bear son were sitting in the snow. The cub turned to his father and said: “Dad, am I 100 per cent polar bear?” “Of course, son,” replied the father. “You are 100 per cent polar bear.” A few minutes later, the cub turned […] More

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    Challenging Experience

    A women’s group from Miami Beach decided to go on a day trip to a working farm in the country. Since most of them had lived in the city all of their lives and had never been near a farm, they thought it would be a new and challenging experience. Dressed for the part, they […] More

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    King Kong

    An explorer in the African jungle heard about a plan to capture the legendary King Kong. And sure enough, when he came to a clearing, there before him, imprisoned in a cage, sat the imposing figure of King Kong. It occurred to the explorer that he could be the first person ever to touch the […] More

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    A California Family

    A California family bought a ranch in Wyoming, where they planned to raise cattle. A friend came to visit one weekend and asked if the ranch had a name. “Well,” said the would-be cattleman, “to be honest we’ve had a few arguments over names. I wanted to call the ranch Bar-J; my wife favoured the […] More

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    Drinking Action

    A police officer came across a terrible road accident where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he gazed at the wreckage, a little monkey emerged from the trees and started hopping around the crashed car. “Gee,” said the officer scratching his head and looking down at the monkey, “I wish you could talk.” […] More

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    Cold Alaskan Night

    A guy from Anchorage lived in a house with no indoor toilet, just an outhouse. And the older he got, the further away the outhouse seemed to get, so that eventually he grew lazy and started peeing off the front porch. His wife was horrified and told him: “You do realize that the neighbours can […] More

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