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Queen Elizabeth II.

At Heathrow airport in England, a 300-foot red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strode to a warm but dignified hand shake from Queen Elizabeth II. They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley to the edge of Central London where they boarded an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent white horses.

As they rode towards Buckingham Palace, each looking to their side and waving to thousands of cheering Britons lining the streets, all was going well. This was indeed a glorious display of pageantry and dignity. Suddenly the scene was shattered when the right rear horse let rip the most horrendous, earth-shattering, eye-smarting blast of flatulence, and the coach immediately filled with noxious fumes.

Uncomfortable, but maintaining control, the two dignitaries did their best to ignore the whole incident, but then the Queen decided that was a most ridiculous manner with which to handle a most embarrassing situation. She turned to Mr. Bush and explained, “Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I’m sure you understand that there are some things even a Queen cannot control.”

George W., ever the Texas gentleman, replied, “Your Majesty, please don’t give the matter another thought. You know, if you hadn’t said something I would have assumed it was one of the horses.”


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  1. You guys should really get you’re facts right. That was not Queen Elizabeth nor President Bush and there was no plane involved. It was Queen Victory in the 1800’s with a King from a central African country.

    • Who was Queen Victory? Jokes are meant to be funny, not history lessons, nor accurate like Queen Victory, nor affirmable fact. JK

    • David, David, David…when you’re posting, you’re responsible to know the difference between your pronouns and your contractions. Getting those mixed up makes you sound a little bit…illiterate. As others have already pointed out, your history is a bit wonky as well. For the record, while Victoria was queen of England, there is no way that there was anything in central Africa that could possibly have qualified as a country; the so-called “scramble for Africa” had created colonies, not kingdoms; therefore, no one could have been recognized as a king, certainly not enough to serve as the basis for this historical anecdote. And also, yes, it’s a joke, not a history lesson, so your comment appears to be a complete and total waste of everyone’s time.

  2. I originally heard this story about Princess Anne demonstrating an equestrian routine in front of the queen, during which her horse farted loudly through the whole routine. After her performance was over, Anne, horribly embarrassed by the uncomfortable spectacle, apologized to her mother. “Think nothing of it, my dear,” the queen replied airily. “If you hadn’t said anything, we would have assumed it was the horse.”

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