Mental Hospital

A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.

Calling out to the patient, the man says, “Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?”

The patient calls back, “One moment!” and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter’s level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.

With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.


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  1. A man driving past the asylum loses all five nuts from his tire and the tire falls off. He gets out and sees the problem and then notices that he has left his phone at his office. While he is trying to figure out what to do a patient yells from the inside of the asylum, ” Why don’t you take one lugnut from each of the other wheels and use them on the missing tire until you get to a service station. The guy thinks this is a good idea . When he had finished the turned to the inmate and says, “I thought you people were crazy?”
    The inmate replied, “We are. But we are not stupid!”

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A Quarter