Fred gets married and on his wedding night he calls his Father for some tips on what to do, since he has never been with a woman before.
“So what do I do first?”
His father replied, “Take her clothes off and lay her on the bed.”
5 minutes later Fred’s on the phone again.
“She’s naked and in bed, what do I do now???
His father can’t believe what he is hearing, “Take your damn clothes off and get into bed with her.”
After another 5 minutes poor Fred is on the phone again.
“Dad, I’m naked and in bed with her, what do I do now?”
His dad’s patience is now running thin so he says, “Shit son! Do I have to spell everything out for you? Just put the hardest thing on your body where she pees. Goodnight!!!”
Just when the old man starts snoring, his son is on the phone once again. “Ok Dad, I have my head in the toilet bowl what do I do next”
“DROWN YOURSELF, YOU F**KING IDIOT!