A man walked into an insurance office and asked two senior executives for a job.
“We’re not taking on new staff,” they said.
“But you can’t afford to be without me,” insisted the man. “I can sell insurance to anybody, anywhere, anytime.”
“Okay,” they said. “Prove it. There are two prospective clients who have resisted all our attempts to sell them a policy. If you can sell to just one of them, you’re hired.”
The guy was gone for around two hours, but when he returned he handed over two cheques – one for a $75,000 policy and another for a $50,000 policy.
“How in the world did you manage that?” asked the executives.
“I told you: I’m the world’s best insurance salesman.”
“There’s just one thing,” they said. “Did you get a urine sample?”
“It’s company practice that if you sell a policy over $40,000, you have to get a urine sample from the customer. Take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples.”
The guy was gone for four hours before he returned carrying two five-gallon buckets, one in each hand. He put down the buckets, reached inside his jacket and produced two bottles of urine. He said: “This one is Mr Brown’s and this one is Mr Smith’s.”
“Very good,” said the executives, “but what’s in those two buckets?”
“Oh, I passed by the schoolhouse and they were having a state teachers’ convention, so I sold them a group policy.”
Carrying his policy, a man went to the office of his insurance company to ask if there was anything to collect on his wife, who had just died.
The insurance agent looked at the policy and then told him that it was not life insurance, but fire insurance.
“I know,” said the man. “That’s why I had her cremated.”