The Minister

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:

“Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m supposed to promise to “love, honor and obey” and “be faithful to her forever,” I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that out.” He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom’s vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: “Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?”

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice,

“Yes,” then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: “I thought we had a deal.”

The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom’s hand and whispered: “She made me a better offer.”


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    A couple had been married for 40 years. The husband came home and asked his wife, “If I won the lottery, what would you do?”
    His wife thought a moment and replied, “Well, I guess I’d take my half and move to Hawaii.”
    Her husband pulled out his wallet grabbed six dollars and said, “Good. I won twelve bucks on the lottery this week. I’ll go help you pack.”

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