Nursing Home

A son was placing his father into a nursing home. “Please don’t put me in there son!” cried the old man.

The son said, “Pop, I can’t take care of you and work too. I’ve checked the place out and it is the best one there is. I think you’ll love it.”

The next day the father called his son and said, “Son, you were right! I LOVE this place it is so great here. Thank you so much for making the decision!”

“That’s swell dad,” said the son. “What makes it so great?”

“Well,” replied the dad, “last night I was in my room and from out of nowhere, I got an er.ction. A nurse came in, saw me and gave me a bl.wjob! I haven’t had one of those in 30 or 40 years! I’d almost forgotten what it was like! It was fantastic!”

“That’s great dad,” said the son.

A few days later the father called his son again and said, “You have to get me out of here! I hate this place! I can’t live here any more!”

“What’s wrong pop?” asked the son.

“Last night I fell down in the hallway. I was getting up and when I was on my hands and knees, a male nurse came along and sodomized me! I CAN NOT and WILL NOT live like this!”

The son said, “Dad, I know that’s terrible and we’ll get it straightened out, but until then, you have to understand, we have to take the good with the bad. Just hang in there.”

“No son,” said the dad. “You don’t understand! I get an er.ction maybe once a year! I fall down two or three times a day!!!”