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Golf at Pebble Beach

His companions all hit their tee shots into the fairway.

The retired man watches as the bearded man actually walks on to the water to find his ball.

He can’t believe his eyes.

To the golf pro, he blurts out, “Who does he think he is, Jesus Christ?”

The pro answers, “He is Jesus Christ.

He thinks he’s Tiger Woods.”

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  1. an other Tiger Woods joke.
    On a golf tour in Newfoundland, Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes Benz into a gas station in a remote part of the island.

    The attendant at the pump greets him in a typical Newfoundland manner, completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.

    “Mornin’ bye” says the attendant.

    Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.

    As he does so, two tees fall out out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

    “What are dey den, son?” asks the attendant.

    “They’re called tees” replies Tiger.

    “Well, what on de good earth are dey for?” inquires the Newfie.

    “They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving” says Tiger.

    “Freeckin Jaysus” says the Newfie, “Dem boys at Mercedes tink of everything”.

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The Old Lady Who Makes Bets

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