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Alfredo

“Yes, Señor Ralph, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.”

“Are you insane? What water cart?”

“The one we used to put out the fire, Señor.”

“My God! What fire are you talking about?”

“The one at your house, Señor. A candle fell and the curtains caught fire.”

“What the hell..? Are you telling me that my $5m mansion is destroyed because of a candle?”

“Yes, Señor Ralph.”

“But there’s electricity at the house! What was the candle for?”

“For the funeral, Señor Ralph.”

“What bloody funeral?”

“Your wife’s, Señor Ralph. She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief. So I hit her with your new Tiger Woods’ Nike driver.”

There was a lengthy silence.

“Alfredo, if you broke that driver, you’re in real trouble…”

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Pontiac

Sternum