Facelift

“I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. If you permit me to put my hands under your bra, then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.”

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her.

She finally blurts out,

“What the hell, go ahead.”

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says,

“Okay, okay…How old am I?”

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ” Ma dam, you are 50.”

Stunned and amazed, the woman says,

“That was incredible, how could you tell?”

The old man says,

“Promise you won’t get mad?”

“I promise I won’t,” she says.

“I was behind you in McDonald’s.”